IT IS AMAZING TO FEEL AGAIN!

I was on 450 mg of Effexor RX for over 10 years….

I never thought that I was going to be able to live a life where the medication wasn’t a crucial or defining aspect.  I had tried many times to get myself off of it, all ending unsuccessfully.  The effects that it had on my system were very extreme.  The worse being what I came to call “brain zaps”.  These were phenomena wherein I felt like someone was jolting my brain with a set of jumping cables.  Sharp, fast, electric pulses of light and pain that came with rapid eye movement.  It was nauseating and unbearable.  These failed attempts at “weaning” me off often resulted in such large swings in mood and demeanor that I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be able to get off this drug.   I had been told by several medical professionals that it was doubtful that I ever would, or would most likely need to be on some from of medication for the remaining of my life.

            That was until I meet Dr. DeGoias and Andrea.   After the assessment Dr. D. told me that it would be possible to be successfully weaned off of Effexor.   I started to see them for one-on- one counseling on the regular bases.  After a few months we started to decrease the dose in larger increments at first, and there were surprisingly few side effects at those stages.  As the dosage got around 75 mg and the decreased dosages became smaller, things really started to change.  Initially there were some periods of decreased appetite, and some days that were king of “blah”, and some nights when sleep didn’t come easy, or at all.  That usually coincided with a decrease in dosage, and would disappear within a couple of days.  IT TOOK ABOUT 14 MONTHS TO GET OFF THE MEDICATION ENTIRELY and that ended over two years ago.

            I would have to say that the hardest part of coming off of Effexor, and being off of Effexor was/is what I like to call “LEARNING TO FEEL AGAIN”.  For the 10+ years that I was on the medication, I would say that I didn’t really feel much at all.  Highs were never all that high, and lows were never all that low.  It was kind of and even keel across the board with little blips on either side as “life” happened.  It was weird to be sitting on the couch at home, and watching an emotional movie or even a silly commercial and find myself crying.  I have to admit that for the first couple of months it caused me a fair amount of anxiety.  I HADN’T REALLY FELT THINGS IN OVER A DECADE, and it was a little unnerving to find myself crying, at things both happy and sad.  At first, I didn’t really understand what was going on, or what exactly it was that I was feeling.  I knew I was feeling something, but it took me a minute or two to actually have to intellectualize what was new to me.  How could it be that as a 27 year old male that I was experiencing things that I hadn’t yet in my life or at the very least hadn’t in well over a decade?  As time went on, it became exhilarating to me.  I can only speak to what I personally felt, and went through, but IT WAS AMAZING TO FEEL AGAIN!  Crying was actually freeing.  And I know it sounds weird but I rally enjoyed the roller coaster of emotions that came with this experience.  It was amazing, and exhilarating to “feel” again, and to experience life as it should be, full of emotions.  All those years of feeling nothing was exhausting, and in itself depressing.  I would‘t have been able to do it without the help of Dr. DeGoias and Andrea.  But I am so glad I did it!  My life now is so amazing, and I am so thankful to the two of them for taking on the onerous task of helping me come off this medication.   It was not an easy process, and it was definitely a journey.  But the person I came out as on the other end of it, is something that I wouldn’t give back for anything.  It always seemed weird to me, that it took me so long, and was such and ordeal to learn how to do something that most people do naturally, FEEL.  IT WAS WORTH THE DISCOMFORT, BECOUSE DISCOMFORT, COMES WITH GROWTH.  AND I GREW!!!  

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