Whenever we get angry or react aggressively, manipulate other people or ourselves, or respond with hostility, the common misconception is that we are bad, intolerant, or self-centered.  This does not take into consideration that, at that time or in those conditions, we feel violated - either by the actions or negligence of another person or from personal feelings of frustration. In other words, we feel threatened, a weakness, not a strength.  The condition that distinguishes the angry or hostile response, however, is that this action is specifically directed at trying to stifle or control the opposition.

Aggression is not always directed at the external opposition.   It can be an act of frustration with SELF as in self harm. 

Or it can be an attempt to manipulate SELF to satisfy a perceived goal as in anorexia, bulimia, perfectionism, rigidity.

It can be the emotional manipulation that seems passive but is quite effective in reducing the opposition or getting it to withdraw.  Or it can be the attempts at aggrandization  that enhances the representation of SELF to appear greater than the opposition.  Thus, the aggressor is simply the person who is manipulating something external to the SELF in order to create an artificial balance and so protect or absolve SELF from its vulnerabilities.  

Aggression and SELF-IMAGE

Logic dictates that, if I do not feel violated, or perhaps threatened, there is no need for me to fight or suppress the opposition. In such cases, the opposition, is not a concern. However, when I feel threatened or violated, it is obvious that there was some weakness or fragility in the power of SELF at that time. 

Nothing can be violated or threatened unless it was vulnerable to external impositions in the first place.  Thus, even the most violent or aggressive act is initiated to protect a SELF-IMAGE that is vulnerable, a vulnerability that is most often caused when definition of self is poor, weak, or simply misguided. 

Prometheum Institute Approach to Aggression

It is so easy to condemn, punish, or suppress the aggressive act or aggressive person.  If we do that, are we not displaying the same response as did the other person?  We are directing our efforts at reducing the power of the opposition because we justify that it is unfairly invasive.  And we are imposing our action just as invasively.

If, however, we can conclude that aggression is only a physical response drawn to an extreme level because the emotional state is immature, threatened, or artificially defined, we can manage it more appropriately.  

To manage anger and aggression, therefore, it is first necessary to recognize that it is a manifestation of weakness compensated through physical strength.  Understanding Change helps us to identify the weakness hidden within the person.  Then, it shows how to strengthen or restructure the emotional integrity by building, rebuilding, or securing a powerful SELF-IMAGE that is immune to the challenges of life.   

Aggression is a crutch for the weak.  Before we can stop using a crutch, however, we must first build the strength to walk.